Heat olive oil in a saucepan. Sauté onions and garlic till your kitchen smells like you’re winning at life.
Add chopped zucchini. Cook for 5 minutes until it starts to soften like your resolve on cheat day.
Pour in the broth. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 10 minutes till the zucchini’s tender but not tragic.
Stir in basil leaves and black pepper. Let it simmer for 2 more minutes—give it that spa time.
Blend until smooth. Add lemon juice and salt. Optional: swirl in coconut cream like the show-off you are.
Serve warm with crusty bread or emotional support croutons.