Preheat oven to 180°C (350°F). Line your tray like you're organizing your emotional baggage.
In a bowl, whisk flour, baking soda, and salt like you're mixing up excuses.
In another bowl, cream vegan butter and both sugars until smooth like your last lie.
Add vanilla extract and plant milk. Stir until fully combined and semi-therapeutic.
Combine wet and dry ingredients. Fold gently while singing sad girl songs.
Add shredded coconut and chocolate chips. Mix like you mean it.
Scoop dough onto the tray, spacing like you’re socially distancing.
Bake for 10–12 minutes, until golden with slightly soft centers.
Cool for 5 minutes unless your willpower has already left the building.