In a pot, heat olive oil and sauté onion and garlic until soft and transparent—like your patience by midweek.
Add broccoli florets, salt, mustard, turmeric, and black pepper. Stir like you mean it.
Pour in the broth. Simmer for 15–20 minutes until the broccoli softens but still has emotional structure.
While that simmers, blend soaked cashews, nutritional yeast, and a ladle of broth until creamy and smug.
Add cashew mixture back into the soup. Stir and simmer for 5 more minutes while judging dairy products silently.
Blend the whole soup for ultra-smoothness or leave it a little chunky—like your favorite ex.
Finish with lemon juice if you're feeling fancy or need brightness in your life.