Rinse lentils under cold water like you're washing off poor life choices.
Add lentils and water to a saucepan. Bring to a boil, then simmer uncovered for 18–20 minutes until tender but not mushy.
Drain and cool lentils. Let them chill while you chop veggies and question your life decisions.
In a bowl, whisk together olive oil, lemon juice, Dijon, garlic, salt, and pepper until smooth and fancy-looking.
In a large bowl, combine lentils, tomatoes, cucumber, onion, parsley, and mint. Toss gently like your ex's apologies.
Pour dressing over salad and mix well. Let it sit for 10 minutes so flavors mingle like coworkers at mandatory happy hour.
Serve chilled or at room temperature. It slaps either way.
